Invaded!

I awakened early this morning and stumbled to the kitchen for tea.  It was not yet 5:00 a.m.  Planning on going out to the studio, I flipped on the patio lights— and almost had a stroke!  The patio looked as if it was filled with raccoons!  I opened the kitchen door and for a moment the beasties looked at me as if they thought this was going to be a conversational moment.  I grabbed the broom and set out after them, counting four that I could see and noticing things moving in the shadows that might have been more.  I was proud of myself.  Even my grandmother, a woman who wielded a broom with deadly grace and accuracy, could not have done a finer job of clearing the lower terrace than I.

I thought about the movie, "Over the Hedge," and a little voice that sounded remarkably like R.J. (the Troublemaking Raccoon) was saying, "We'll be back . . ."

Of course, I will now wake up at 4:30 every morning and come to the kitchen to check on the critters out back.  As there is no garbage can there, I can only surmise they are coming for my bulbs.  As the Phantom of the Opera declared, "Then, it shall be war between us!"

P.S. added Monday, 28th of November:  Last night I was up again in the wee hours, and the sound of the rain on the roof was interrupted by a brick being dragged across the patio.  I jumped up from the sunroom sofa and ran to the window, turned on outside lights, but I could not bring myself to take up the umbrella and go out into the weather to chase down this 2:00 a.m. noise.  I think, now that the sun is up, that it was the raccoons again.  One of the bricks holding down the tarp over the fountain outside the sunroom window has been disturbed.

How do you get rid of wild animals you DON'T want in your yard without hurting the ones you DO want?